SONGKHLA: In Bangkok there is a popular restaurant chain known as Cabbages and Condoms, brainchild of well-known activist Mechai Viravaidya (aka “Mr Condom”), who has been internationally lauded for his efforts to promote condom use as a way of stopping HIV/Aids.

At the restaurant, condoms, rather than mints, are served after meals.

The efforts to bring together vegetables and prophylactics has yet to catch on in the southern city of Haad Yai, however.

Customers at a fresh market there were given a nasty shock recently when they found bundles of vegetables they had bought were held together with condoms.

On June 22, 36-year-old Sudjai Phromlet bought a bundle of vegetables at Plaza Market in downtown Haad Yai and took them home for his wife to make dinner.

As she was unwrapping them, however, she suddenly called out to him in disgust and, somewhat melodramatically, vomited all over the kitchen, Mr Sudjai said.

Mr Sudjai’s wife showed him that the bundle of vegetables was tied up with part of a condom instead of the usual elastic band. On closer examination, it turned out the market trader had tied the vegetables with the rubber ring from the base of the condom, though there were still a few bits of the sheath hanging off.

The disgusted Mr Sudjai then contacted a local journalist to go and investigate.

The journalist and Mr Sudjai headed back to the stall where the offending bundle of vegetables had been bought.

At the stall, belonging to 51-year-old Porn Kaowmanee, they found all the bundles of vegetables on sale were tied together with contraceptive devices.

Mrs Porn admitted she had indeed used condoms to tie up bundles of vegetables, though she insisted the johnnies were clean and unused. She said this was the first time she had tried using condoms to tie her produce.

She had run out of elastic bands and lived a long way from the shop, so instead of traveling all the way to buy new ones, she asked her daughter-in-law to bring some condoms in from the condom factory where she works. Haad Yai is the centre of Thailand’s rubber production industry, which is a world leader in condom production.

Mrs Porn said all the condoms used were defective products that had never been near a penis.

She never thought her customers would find having their vegetables tied up with condoms disgusting or unhygienic in any way. Despite the condoms working just as well as rubber bands, Mrs Porn said she would go back to using elastic bands to avoid losing any more customers.

 

AYUDHAYA: Every family has its own unique customs, but a family in Phak Hai District recently caught national attention when it was discovered keeping the corpse of a long-dead relative in the front room of the family home.

­Current guardian of the coffin, 36-year-old Samreng Yingyong, told reporters the body was that of his great-great uncle Phuangthong Lidkaho, who died almost 70 years ago.

Mr Phuangthong’s open coffin is kept in the front room of the hundred-year-old wooden Thai house, where Mr Phuanthong once lived.

Every day after he gets home from his construction job, Mr Samreng lights incense sticks in front of the coffin and makes offerings of food and drink. Every night he sleeps in front of the coffin to keep it company.

On many nights he hears the sound of footsteps in the house and someone sweeping the floor, Mr Samreng said.

This in no reason to feel afraid, however. Mr Samreng’s granny told him it was just Mr Phuangthong’s spirit wandering about.

Older brother Prasit Lidkaho, 75, said that he was the fourth child of seven in his family. Mr Phuangthong was the youngest. His family were practitioners of traditional medicine, with the family speciality being the meed mor (witchdoctor’s magic knife), Mr Prasit explained.

Mr Phuangthong was born without a right hand and missing a number of toes. Despite this handicap, by the age of nine he was already a master healer who could treat any illness, Mr Prasit said.

His short career came to a tragic halt when he fell down the front steps of the home and landed on a large mortar.

As he lay dying, the child called his parents and siblings to his side.

In the exact spot where his body still lies, he told them that he didn’t want to be cremated.

The family must keep his body until they were sure he had been reborn. If they did not, the family would split apart and come to ruin, the dying child said.

That said, the young Mr Phuangthong bade farewell to his relatives, assumed a meditative position and quietly passed away, Mr Prasit said.

“It’s strange,” Mr Prasit said, “I bought a teak coffin, but the body didn’t rot or smell so we never had to put the lid on it. The body just dried out by itself.”

The family tradition of healing is now being continued by his son, a monk in Kanchanaburi and still uses Mr Phuangthong’s magic knife, Mr Prasit said.

The family would keep watch over Mr Phunagthong's body for as long as they lived, he added.

Neighbor Chanuan Thanuthon, 78, confirmed that Mr Phuangthong was a powerful healer loved by all the villagers.

After his death, no one was afraid when his spirit appeared to people or possessed mediums. It was just the spirit’s way of letting people know he had not yet been reborn, she explained.

A relative of Mr Phaungthong, 66-year-old police captain Thongthai Bancha, said that since word of the story was published in the national press, many visitors had come to the house asking to see the body.

Capt Thongthai said that since the visitors started coming he began sleeping in the house to help out.

Most visitors ask for good luck or seek proof that Mr Phunagthong’s spirit still occupies the house.

One night Mr Phunathong’s elder sister, 76-year-old Yuphin Ahthon, suddenly began shaking and fainted at the house. She then began to speak with the voice of a young boy, giving everyone a right old shock, Capt Thongthai said.

Unfortunately, reports that Mr Phuangthong’s spirit can convey to visitors winning numbers in upcoming lottery draws have yet to be independently verified.

KHON KAEN: Having failed to get anywhere with begging, an unemployed man was arrested on June 6 after squeezing the breasts of a number of women.

Like Little Tramp in Modern Times, the man claimed the act had nothing to do with sexual appetite, but was done so to get arrested and sent to prison – where he would be fed.

Khon Kaen Police at 11am got a call from shoppers at the aptly-named “Fresh Market” in Khon Kaen’s Muang District, asking for police to arrest a man they caught sexually assaulting female shoppers.

At the scene, police were met by 43-year-old Noi (not her real name), a teacher at a government school.

Mrs Noi directed the police to 30-year-old Wirat Noitamyae, whom she claimed had grabbed her breasts.

Mr Wirat told police that he had been a laborer on a construction site, but was laid off the week before.

Since being made redundant the previous week, he had wandered the streets of Khon Kaen looking for work.

His job hunt led nowhere and soon he ran out of money and was sleeping on the street.

He tried to beg for enough food to eat, but very few people gave money.

After a few days of this, he thought to himself that if he had nowhere to sleep and nothing to eat, he’d be better off in prison, he told the arresting officers.

He reasoned that a sure way to get incarcerated – and a free meal ticket – would be to squeeze women’s breasts in the market, which is only 200 meters from Muang Khon Kaen Police Station.

Targeting only women aged over 30, Mr Wirat was surprised to find his melon-squeezing session did not result in the immediate success he had envisioned.

The first few of victims just called him a pervert and walked off.

When he came to Mrs Noi, he used both hands to grab both of her breasts.

This achieved the hoped-for result, as Mrs Noi shouted for other shoppers to come and grab her attacker.

Shortly thereafter, Mr Wirat found himself in the confines of a jail cell at the police station.

When Investigating Officer Surasee Inunchot charged Mr Wirat with indecent assault, the suspect reportedly replied, “Good, I’ll have something to eat.”

TRANG: Police have arrested a People’s Alliance for Democracy (PAD) guard for the alleged rape of a 71-year-old man.

The shocking announcement was made on June 11 by Thian Banthip, deputy superintendent of the Muang District Police in nearby Trang province.

Lt Col Thian identified the alleged rapist as 44-year-old Phuan Thajeen, a member of the PAD’s elite “Srivichai Warriors” that played a key role in defending PAD encampments at Government House and Suvarnabhumi Airport last year after those locations were seized by yellow-shirted PAD demonstrators.

The arrest followed an allegation made by the alleged victim, a 71-year-old man identified only as “Mr Duang” (not his real name).

The senior filed a complaint with police alleging that Mr Phuan raped him following a drinking session at Mr Phuan’s home in Tambon Na Yong Tai.

Following his arrest, Mr Phuan admitted that he had sex with Mr Duang, but claimed it was consensual.

Mr Phuan said that as he and Mr Duang were drinking, they began to feel horny and performed oral sex on each other.

After the alleged foreplay, Mr Duang allowed Mr Phuan to perform penetrative sex on him. There was no force involved and the act was consensual, Mr Phuan insisted.

However, Mr Duang claimed that Mr Phuan used force which he, being an old man and not a Srivichai Warrior, was unable to resist.

Mr Phuan has been formally charged with rape.

Inspector Amonrat Suthket, lead officer on the case, said Mr Duang was alleged to be a serial rapist who preyed on male senior citizens in the area.

His latest victim was the first who dared lodge a police complaint against him, police said.

Villagers in the area also alleged that Mr Phuan was fond of having sex with male senior citizens.

Mr Duang did not reveal why he went to drink at Mr Phuan’s house, given Mr Phuan’s reputation.

NAKHON PHANOM: While the sight of an old man marrying a young woman is not too unusual in Isarn, when it’s the other way round, it manages to raise eyebrows.

Therefore, when word spread that 73-year-old Thongsuk Phutthawan was set to marry 26-year-old Somphon Chanthawong, 47 years her junior, it quickly drew the interest of the local press.

The pair finally tied the knot on May 20, after a three-month courtship. The groom paid a bride price of 20,000 baht and gave his betrothed a 1.5 baht-weight gold ring worth approximately Bt22,500.

A Brahmin priest then divided a hard boiled-egg, giving half to the bride and half to the groom to wish them a long and happy marriage.

Mrs Thongsuk told the Khao Sod reporter who attended the wedding that this was Mrs Thongsuk’s second marriage.

First falling in love at a military camp at Nakhon Phanom Airport, Mrs Thongsuk first got married at the tender age of 18 and had four children with her first husband. One child died, but the other three now all have families of their own. Her husband died 30 years ago – before her new beau was even conceived.

She said that in the 30 years that she had been single, she had many suitors. These included wealthy businessmen and politicians, but she rejected them all.

She met her new husband one evening in March when she went to have dinner with relatives at a fish restaurant on the bank of the Mekong River. One of the waiters, Mr Somphon, began teasing and flirting with her, before finally plucking up the courage to ask for her number.

The couple chatted all the time, Mrs Thongsuk said. Mr Somphon is a merry soul, a good talker and had what the Thais call a “sweet mouth”, she said. He was always concerned about her well-being, asking if she’d eaten dinner or whether she had gone to bed yet.

“Though he’s only a child, it was like having a second father,” Mrs Thongsuk enthused.

When their love had fully blossomed, Mrs Thongsuk took her relatives to meet her young suitor. She then asked her daughters, all of whom are considerably older than Mr Somphon, for permission to marry. Her daughters said they would not stand in the way of the wedding, but asked only for the ceremony to be fairly small – as they were worried that people would gossip.

Mr Somphon said that he had a girlfriend before but she had broken his heart, adding that he liked Mrs Thongsuk’s personality. After knowing her for three months he was sure he was in love and so got his mother to go and ask for Mrs Thongsuk’s hand in marriage.

Mrs Thongsuk’s elder sister Thongyip Thapket, 80, said that she was glad her little sister had found happiness, especially as this was probably her last chance. She said she had seen lots of old farangs getting married who were clearly on their last legs so she didn’t think it was strange that her sister should do likewise.

A close friend of the bride said that when Mrs Thongsuk was young she was a real stunner and had won many local beauty contests. Even in her old age she still managed to turn heads and last year took first prize in the Songkran Mother pageant.