Caught dead to rights

SAMUT PRAKAN: A 51-year-old undertaker at Wat Thongkung was arrested recently after he confessed to having sex with a dead woman. Filled with remorse, Sakchai Thumaseeda wrote a letter to the dead woman’s mother, spilling the beans on his nocturnal necrophiliac exploits with “Bee”, a 31-year-old woman who had recently died of Aids. Mum was not impressed and called the police. Sakchai told officers that after getting drunk he “felt horny” and broke through the roof of the morgue at Wat Thongkung, where he works. He opened a coffin holding Bee’s body and removed the corpse, then had sex with it. “I wanted to do it again but I felt very tired, so I put her back in her coffin then ran home and pretended nothing happened. But I was afraid of the penalty for my sins, so I wrote a letter of apology to her mom,” he said. Sakchai said he had heard locals gossiping about how Bee had died of Aids but did not believe it “because she was quite beautiful”. Asked by a reporter how he felt now that he knew the cause of Bee’s death, Sakchai replied, “I have accepted my fate. So be it.”